just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
