The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize