Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Can I color on your dick again?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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