i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
