I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
