can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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