In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize