I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Barsexuality is the new black.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
