Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
