marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Pooping to opera.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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