yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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