I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
