just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
