Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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