he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
