So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
