Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
