What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
