There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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