my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize