You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
