"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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