I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
