i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
