I hate all girls vehemently.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
