none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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