So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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