Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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