I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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