I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
