You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
