i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
