cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
