Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
