please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
