i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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