he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
