I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
