I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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