oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it glows. i had to have it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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