If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize