Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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