I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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