He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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