You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
