she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
