you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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