dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
How's work?
Spinning.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
