Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
