Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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