Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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