once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Mom said you looked used
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
