they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
