he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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