you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
