Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
