walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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