i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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