Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize