you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
