Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
