it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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