We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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