First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i think my mom watched the whole time
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
