My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize