this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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