Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
