They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
