Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
