one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize