Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
