Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
