i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
