Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
