Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Someone signed my nipple.
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