So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
