WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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