OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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