I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
