I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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