im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
