i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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