official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
