If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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